It Is Well with My Soul

Whew, what a whirlwind the past couple of weeks have been.  I have been hesitant to post, but because so many have asked I will go ahead and wear my heart on my sleeve and share our current adoption situation.  It made my heart hurt and gave me a goose egg the first few times I shared what was going on, but I know that the more I share, the more prayer there is… so here goes.

We were started to pack, had received our travel manual, and were getting super geared up and excited about travelling to Colombia in early May to meet our son and bring him home!  Then we received the call that a glitch in his abandonment decree, which should have been completed four years ago, was going to cause a further investigation, which could prolong our travels a couple of months. 

Devastated doesn’t even begin to describe how we felt.  We were also told that we would have a call later on that week to further discuss this matter with the head of our in-country team.  Though devastated, we were hoping that maybe it wasn’t as bad as it seemed.  We spent several days with tears and intense prayer, and awaited the conference call between Brent, our Lifeline social worker, our in-country guy, and me.   Devastation turned into greater devastation.  Meeting our precious Samuel in a mere six weeks turned into meeting him in 6-7 months at best.

Words cannot express how much our hearts ached and broke.   I haven’t cried (wept is a more accurate term) like that in I don’t know how many years.   This is a precious, beautiful boy who deserves a permanent home.  6-7 months is truly a big deal!  It is that much longer that he won’t be with a family, it’ll add to the time it takes him to adjust, attach, adapt, and learn English, it is that much longer that his heart condition won’t be monitored by American physicians, and so on. 

What is terrifying is that there is a chance he won’t be able to come home.  I won’t go in to details, but this is a possibility.  Granted, in all adoptions this is the case, but in this situation the likelihood is much higher than we would like. 

Immediately, I drove to Brent’s office.  I just needed to be with him in person.   We definitely show emotion extremely differently.  He is such a solid rock (Praise the Lord for that), and I am an emotional wreck.  I ugly cry, and when that is over I remain splotchy and with watery eyes for hours.  At the time I was honestly frustrated that he wasn’t showing his emotion, but a relationship can’t handle two of me.  In hindsight, I am beyond thankful he is so stable and solid.  After leaving his office I called my precious mother, who cried with me and didn’t act annoyed when I said the same thing seven bazillion times.   Shortly thereafter I got to speak with my incredible mother-in-law, who is not only the best MIL in the universe, but is so peaceful, kind, and wise.   It did my feelings and heartache a world of good to be able to talk to my mom and Brent’s mom.  My sister sent me a super long sweet text that said the right things in just the right way. 

As much as we would like to mope around, drown in our misery, whine and fuss (which I have done my fair share of no doubt), we realize this is not what we are supposed to do.  Several lyrics come to mind and have actually helped me, and I say them as prayers several times through the days.   The old hymn, which has always been one of my favorites, “It Is Well with My Soul” proclaims, “When peace like a river, attendeth my way, When sorrows like sea billows rolls; Whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say, It is well, It is well, with my soul.”  Casting Crowns has a song that states, “ And I’ll praise you in this storm and I will lift my hands, for you are who you are no matter where I am, and every tear I’ve cried, you hold in your hand, You never left my side and though my heart is torn, I will praise you in this storm.”  There’s another chorus of a Christian song that says, “ While I’m waiting, I will serve you.  While I’m waiting, I will worship.  While I’m waiting I will not faint.  I’ll be running the race even while I wait.”

I had to ask myself and ask the Lord how am I going to praise you in this storm?  This is a child’s life!  A child who may never have a forever family.  A child who may never be exposed to the Gospel.  A child whose heart is fragile physically and spiritually.  Of course I know we have infinite reasons to be thankful, but what was there to be thankful for in regard to this news?  Then the Lord spoke to me through a precious, wise woman.  (I sure hope she doesn’t mind me mentioning her).  Sweet, amazing Tanya Birchfield called me a couple days after we received the news.  Not only can she relate more than anybody that I know, but she gave us some wise advice.  However, more than that she said the most remarkable thing.  “No matter what happens or how long it takes, Samuel is now being covered in prayer more than he ever have in his entire life.  That is the absolute best gift he can have, and he has that now.”  Wow!  Talk about being blown away.  That is so true.  Thank you, Tanya!  Our precious Samuel is being cloaked in prayer.   Prayer is significantly more important than getting him home on our time frame, and more important than anything else that may occur. 

If you are reading this, please pray for Samuel.  Pray for him every time he pops into your brain.   Pray for peace and understanding for our family.  Pray that the people in Colombia get this process and investigation completed in record time, and that we DO get to bring Samuel home and that it is significantly faster than the times estimates we have been given. 

As I close, I’d like to do so with a funny kid story.  Those of you who have kids surely know that although they know how to push your buttons and do so at the worst times, also know that kids are hysterical.  They keep you in stitches, and make sure that boredom never will exist again.  We took a trip to Atlanta for spring break and to get our mind off of things.  Except for Alex’s tummy bug and upset tummy that struck at the most horrendous times, it was delightful.  We did the Dekalb County Farmer’s Market, the Aquarium, had dinner with some of our best friends, and Stone Mountain.  Instead of paying for parking, we used the Uber service frequently, and had an Ethiopian driver one evening.  Lilly Grace picked up on the fact that he did not speak English as his native tongue, and thought she would use her Spanish we’ve been trying to teach her.  After every sentence Mohammed spoke, Lilly Grace would throw in “Gracias.”  We were hopping out of his car, and she hollered, “Feliz Navidad.”  I asked her what she was doing, since he clearly was not a Spanish speaker, and she looked at me and said, “I KNOW this stuff, Mommy.  I got this.” Poor Ethiopian Mohammed luckily just laughed and drove off.

Thanks friends for your prayers!  Keep them up!

Yet those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength.   They will mount up on wings like eagles.  They will run and not get tired.  They will talk and not become weary.  Isaiah 40:31

PS All of your encouraging words, messages, texts, calls, prayers, hugs, and posts have been so meaningful.  Thank you for the prayers and godly encouragement. 

I Will Wait for You!

People say "no news is good news."  The people that say that are clearly not adopting a child.  No news to us is just no news, and no Samuel, yet.  Although we are still waiting for the official paper work to arrive, we did get some details about when we might possibly be expecting it.  There is a state-level committee that meets roughly every two to three weeks, and we are guessing that next time they convene they will be able to send us what we need.  The last time they met was two weeks ago, so we are hoping any day now!  

While we are waiting, we have done a little more work on Samuel's room, purchased some boy toys, and  worked on stocking his closet and drawers.  The girls love being in his room and think his toys are super fun to play with.  Speaking of the girls, this blog is to update our adoption process, and they are a huge part of it, so I shall update y'all on Lilly Grace and Alex (i.e. brag on our munchkins).

Lilly Grace is extremely headstrong but has the sweetest heart and sees the best in every situation.  I complained about all of the rain and nasty weather, and LG replied, "I like it Mommy.  I like that the farmers can grow strawberries and other foods."  Way to see the silver lining, kid!  She has mastered writing her name, and it looks great.  She had the L-I-L-L part down for a while, but the Y was seemingly tricky.  Not anymore.  She's a pro. Her prayers have also become increasingly more meaningful and heartfelt.  A few nights ago, her dinner time prayer went like this, "Dear God, please let all the nations praise your name. Amen."  Wow!  Despite the fact that quite often she wins the award for most spankings in a day, she truly is so precious, loves the Lord, and has a lot of wisdom packed into her three year old frame.

Alex is our drama queen, but is also such an easy child.  She never wants anybody to be upset and will run and give a hug to anybody who is hurt or crying.  She is quite the chatterbox.  She talks nonstop from sun up to sun down, and has recently become obsessed with singing as well.  We sing Jesus Loves Me, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, the ABCs, Baby Beluga, and the Itsy Bitsy Spider numerous times every day.  I had to turn down a song on the radio this morning so we could belt out the Itsy Bitsy Spider.  Her biggest newest accomplishment is being potty trained!  Wearing big girl panties like Lilly Grace and her cousins is the coolest thing ever in her book.  Accidents still happen, but she is doing fantastic.

Brent has been working super hard lately.  He is juggling his normal work load, the legislative session, campaigns, getting his master's degree, being a husband and father... and adopting!  Whoa!  Impressive isn't it?  And let me add, he grilled out steaks for us a couple days ago that were out of this world scrumptious! 

I am not trying to be one of those people who goes on and on about her perfect family, but who wants to hear me gripe about the yucky stuff?  Like how I got to bathe my child in a public bathroom today, then I got her poop under my fingernails.  Yucky isn't it?  Gross stuff, bad attitudes, spankings, regrets, fevers, and fights happen, but there's no fun in going there.

Anyhow, last blog I promised pictures that never became a reality.  I will do that right now.  Good night folks!  Stay warm through Snowmageddon #2.  We are just getting cold rain here in the Gump.  And keep up your prayers.  We definitely appreciate them.  Let's get Samuel home. 

Lilly Grace and Alex wearing pajamas that match the blue pajamas for Samuel they are holding.  The girls are on his bottom bunk bed.

 The girls are "modeling" Sam's ladder to get to his top bunk.

Sam's beds.  That's Jumbo and Roscoe up top.  We still need to paint his desk, get a rug, and add a few things to the wall. 

P.S. We have a few photos of Sam, but we are not allowed to post them on here.  Rest assured, this is one super cute four-year old kid.

A Month of Waiting

The process of adoption has no doubt taught us significantly more about patience and reliance on prayer.  It is interesting how these two really go hand in hand.  It also is such a blessing that we have so many on our prayer team: friends, family, our Sunday School class, pastor, co-workers, physicians, and our team at Lifeline.  Samuel has been prayed over countless times, and this will not end once he is home.  We also pray that we will continue to have patience.  The Lord's timing is so difficult to understand, but we are not called to understand.  We are called to trust Him.  Honestly, I am terrible at this.  I like to be in control, but truly none of us are in control at all.

We received the call December 17 (Sam's birthday) that we had been approved to adopt him, but needed to wait for official paper work.  This was estimated to take a couple of weeks since the Colombian governmental agencies took a nice long Christmas break.  Sounds nice, doesn't it?  While we were waiting, we spoke with  a few doctors about his cardiac condition.  I will not go into details, but some information was difficult to swallow.  What wasn't difficult is we KNOW this is our son, and even our parents already talk about him like he is THEIR grandson.  Yes, there may be hard times ahead, but we will take it one day at a time.  Right now, we are just beyond ready to meet this little guy.

We assumed our paper work would arrive by early to mid January at the latest.  You know what they say about assuming, though.  Mid-January came and went, and no paperwork had come.  We learned that the Colombian government was experiencing a form of a shut down.  Despite the fact that Brent is a wealth of knowledge about any and everything political, I am a political moron when it comes to American politics, so I cannot even attempt to understand Colombian government.  Nonetheless, the child care agency in Colombia was at a stand still due to whatever was going on.  This meant no possibility of official approval until the government was back to normal.

Today is January 28.  5 weeks since we first received work of approval.  We still do not have the paperwork, but we did find out the shut down is over!  Woohoo!  It is my understanding that any day now we could find something out!  All of you who are reading, please pray this happens this week!

On a happier note, Sam's room is really coming along.  It has bunkbeds with madras bedding and is nautical themed.  Considering we have only decorated for girls so far, I think we are doing a not-too-shabby job.  My parents helped us put it together and were a huge help!  Thanks MaMere and Pops!

Also, while we are experiencing snow, slush, ice, sleet, freezes, wrecks, and overall unexpected Alabamian winter weather, it is a balmy 91 degrees in Medellin, Colombia.  Literally as I typed this it started snowing.  I guess it's time to put on snow clothes, drink some hot chocolate, and go make a 3 inch tall snow man.  Adios!

(I will post some pictures later on, if I can figure out how).

All I Want for Christmas is YOU

It's 8 days until Christmas - December 17th to be exact.  Let me start by painting you a picture of our day.

We woke up in a lovely condo in Park City, Utah; threw on some warm clothes; and stepped outside to eat some bright, white, fluffy snow.  We hopped in our rental Jeep and headed to breakfast downtown.  Looking throughout the windows of a delightful cafe, we saw snow covered roofs, stunning mountains, skiiers boarding the lift, and evergreens dusted in snow.  Talk about beauty!

We looked in awe, and Lilly Grace repeatedly asked if it was pretend or real (also referring to it as sand, as she confuses sand and snow).  God's creation is truly remarkable. While gazing at the scenery and eating a scrumptious breakfast, we were talking about how today is Samuel's birthday.  We were sad that he wasn't spending his birthday with his forever family, but thankful that this should be his last birthday as an orphan.

In the middle of breakfast, we received a call from our wonderful social worker, Beth.  She said she had some good news - the ICBF had approved our family to adopt precious Samuel!  We have been waiting for weeks for our dossier to be approved, so we were elated to discover that our dossier had been approved AND we had been "matched" with Samuel.  This is all just verbal and e-mail communication.  We're still waiting on it be officially be in writing, and due to the wording, we aren't 100% sure the dossier was approved. But we are fairly certain that the dossier and match were approved.

Immediately, we called and texted our families, who were all so encouraging and eager to meet this precious boy.  A common question has resounded from almost everybody: What's next?  The next step is to receive an official letter stating we have been matched with Samuel.  The tricky part is that Christmas and New Year's are around the corner, so this could take a few weeks to receive. Luckily, the in-country team is really pushing for it to happen quickly.  Lastly, we will have some paperwork to do and have approved here in America.  It takes on average about 6 weeks, but Brent has some connections to some folks in DC who have volunteered to do all they can to cut this time as much as possible. Then, we will be making arrangements to go to Colombia for 6-7 weeks and bring our son HOME!

Yes, Christmas still is 8 days away, but we got our Christmas wish - an answered prayer.  We are much closer to having Samuel forever.  We have felt your prayers, and are thankful to everyone of you who have prayed.  Thank you for the encouragement, and please continue to pray.

Merry Christmas and God Bless You!

November: A Month of Thanksgiving...and Complaining

Somehow, November arrived extraordinarily fast this year.  As soon as it arrived, I was filled with thoughts of delicious meals, gorgeous leaves, pumpkins, family time, and of course Thanksgiving.  Additionally, Brent and I were going on a trip to Miami as just a couple to celebrate our five year anniversary a few days early.  We were so excited. We attended a Christian-marriage conference that Brent's parents gave to us as a gift while they kept the kids, which meant time alone in Miami.  We love our children wholeheartedly but decided from the onset of growing our family that our relationship would have to come first.  Truthfully, it is hard with munchkins, but well worth it.  But I digress.

Clearly, we were ecstatic about our trip and about the entire month in general. The Wednesday before leaving for Miami, I was headed out the door to pick up the girls from school and take Lilly Grace to gymnastics.  I had hopped in the car, backed out of the garage, and realized I forgot to grab her leotard.  I ran back in and evidently put my car in drive instead of park.  Let me tell you, running your car into your own house while you aren't even in it is mortifying!  I felt like the biggest moron.  However, Brent took the news so well and was calming, kind, and godly despite his scatterbrained wife.  We have a lot of brick to replace, and the front of my car needs a little bit of help.  My Dad even came over that night and  got the garage door back in alignment so it would close.

The following day, Brent's parents came over early in the morning to keep the girls, and we headed out for what turned out to be a glorious trip to Miami!  The conference was absolutely awesome, and we highly recommend it.  It is "A Weekend to Remember" presented by Family Life.  We journeyed to South Beach, downtown Miami, the Keys, the Everglades, and Little Havana.  It was a lot in a few days, and we had a ball.

In addition to us celebrating five years of wonderful marriage this month, my dad celebrated his 60th birthday.  All of the in-town family came over to our house for "Pop's Party" - his "Stew-Pendous Souper Sixty Celebration."  We had soup as our meal, and yes, I really like alliteration.  It was such a fun night.  All the grand kids were precious, the dinner turned out yummy, and we had great family fellowship. The only down side was that about thirty minutes prior to everybody's arrival, Lilly Grace spiked a 104 degree fever.  What we hoped was a 24 hour issue turned into an eight day fever virus affecting both girls.  Fevers were up and down all day, noses were repulsively gross, they refused to eat, coughs were productive, and chests were rattling.  It was rough.

Before the dreaded virus ravaged our house Brent was gone for the longest he has been gone since we had children.  He was originally supposed to go to New Orleans for a few days, but ended up going to DC first then flew from DC to NOLA.  He was gone for six days.  Truth be told, the girls were awesome.  We had a great time doing girlie things, although we really missed Brent.  That said, military wives are incredible.  Their husbands are gone for extensive periods of time, and they never complain!  I am amazed by these rock star women.  Six days without help is difficult, like really difficult at times, but it was also really fun.  Lilly Grace slept in my bed, we did arts and crafts, we played.  It was a grand old time.  And because of Brent's flight schedule, we were able to both drop off and pick up Brent from the airport.

Finally, our crazy November was looking up.  The girls were well, and they were going back to school for the first time in over a week.  I was going to clean and sanitize my house.  Right as I was dropping them off, Brent texted me.  He was in a wreck on the interstate.  AHHHHH!  Luckily he was fine, just quite sore.  And it wasn't his fault at all - unlike my incident with the garage a few weeks prior.

That brings us to today.  Two days ago we were supposed to receive an update on where our paperwork is in Colombia, then the internet and phones went down in the area of Medellin that Lifeline has its in-country folks. Thus, we received part of the update today instead.  Today marks six years since Brent and I started dating, and so I just knew that fate would allow something monumental to happen today.  Cheesy,  I know, especially considering I don't believe in "fate." Late this morning, our precious social worker called.  Brent's birth certificate is still causing problems.  Grrrrr.  Whereas being born in England is no-doubt cool, it makes international adoption difficult for some reason.  We filled out an affidavit previously, and completed some forms regarding Brent being born in England, thinking this was sufficient.  Evidently it was not.  We have to get his Great Britain birth certificate certified in Britain and apostilled there.  Much to Brent's chagrin, it won't require a trip to England, but it sadly will add about two weeks or more on to being approved by Colombia.

Needless to say, the ups and downs of this month, which is not even over yet, have made me gripey.  I've been a pill to be around I am sure.  I thought about this, and am now embarrassed.  This is the month of Thanksgiving, and I've done little more than complain!  In these next eight days, I pray for an attitude adjustment.  Honestly, I have it super easy.  My husband is incredible, hard-working, and a true family man.  Our kids are usually really healthy, happy, and precious.  We never have to worry about food, a roof or clothing.  Above all, we have a God who loves us unconditionally despite our unthankfulness.  Let me end by saying, I can't WAIT to be thankful that we've been approved to adopt our precious, adorable son, and we pray that day is soon.

Managing Small Hurdles

Hey precious friends and fellow prayer warriors,

I said on Facebook over a week ago I needed to update the blog, and I finally am.  At the beginning of September our dossier was submitted to Colombia.  We knew once it was submitted there were three options:  being approved, being turned down, or being questioned further.  Colombia responded really quickly, which was a blessing... but they had further questions they wanted answered.

Colombia's central authority for adoption - ICBF - questioned why we were adopting since we have no infertility issues.  Both of our girls were blessed surprises, merely 19 months apart - so clearly infertility is no problem with us, and we are extremely thankful to the Lord for this!  That said, we are adopting because we feel the Lord led us to do so, and He has opened doors leading us to Colombia and to this specific child.  However, we cannot exactly say that in those words to Colombia.  None of our responses can be "faith-based", because though it's a Catholic nation, Colombia's government wants to see what they consider long-term motivation to adopt.

The ICBF questioned the ways we are preparing ourselves and our girls for the adoption of our son, whether we are able to handle his medical condition, and what we are intending to do about sibling rivalry and jealousy.  Our oldest children will be merely months apart, so we realize that sibling rivalry and jealousy will be the norm.  We figure we will roll with the punches.  We are lucky that we  had a great example set before us when my sister, Stephanie and her husband, Jimmy got married.  They both brought 4 year old girls to the table who were only a few months apart in age.  They have blended phenomenally, and we have learned from them how to deal with siblings that are so close in age.

The other issue Colombia brought up was that Brent's birth certificate, which is from Great Britain, uses his full name, but our marriage certificate from the US dropped his middle name.  Fear not, he IS who is claims to be.  We filled out a name affidavit, similar to what I did for my married name and maiden name.  Hopefully that will be sufficient, and we truly think it is.

We wanted Colombia's ICBF to really know we are preparing for our son and are ready to take on his medical conditions and deal with any sibling rivalry.  Therefore, we went back to the psychologist for another session.  Evidently, when we told our Sunday School class, I worded all this really badly and it made it sound like we were out of our minds to the point we had to have a psyche consult.  Luckily, this is not the case.  We returned to Dr. Hamblin last Friday, and basically covered all the questions once again that Colombia presented. Colombia places great weight on the opinion of a psychologist.

Additionally, we had a phone conference with our social worker, and she and the social worker that did our home study wrote up a response.  We also sent off for repeat background checks for ABI/FBI.  Brent and I received some mail today that said our background checks were back and we passed.  I also spoke with Beth, our social worker, and our responses sans the psychological are currently being translated.  We hope to have everything ready for Colombia by the end of next week.

As I close, please pray that everything is ready and is sent to Colombia by next week.  Secondly, our next big prayer request is that once everything is sent back to Colombia we are approved at lightening speed, and that we can then proceed with the next steps.

We appreciate all of your prayers,
- Becky and Brent

We're Expecting!...But Not Pregnant

Brent and I have some exciting news to share!  I guess it is no where near "official," but we are about to burst and can't wait any longer.

We received an e-mail then a call from Lifeline a few weeks ago saying that a child had been placed on the national Waiting Children registry that they thought would be a great match for our family.  Yes - that means we are much closer in the adoption process, but not ready to travel.  :)

We want to respect his privacy, so I won't go into much detail, but his name is Samuel, and he does have a fairly serious medical need.  We were told that his age and a couple more medical details put him on the list.  They sent us his entire medical file... but it was in Spanish.  I had chills for a straight hour once we received this news, because there was a good chance this was going to be our son!

When we received the news, the girls and I were playing in the playroom. Lilly Grace still had on a tacky princess dresses, but we packed up and sped over to Brent's office.  Brent was supposed to be out of town, but through a random chain of events, he did not go.  After quick prayer and a few tears, we immediately submitted a letter of intent for this boy.  We were on cloud nine, because we felt this three year old boy was going to become a Buchanan.

After we sent in our letter, our social worker called us and basically told us not to get our hopes up, since dozens of other agencies across the world had access to his file. We didn't let this discourage us.

And let me tell you, he is SOOOO cute so anybody who sees him would want him!  We tried to guard our hearts, knowing there was a greater chance that he would not become a member of our family, than the chance that he would.

After a grueling week of waiting, Beth, our social worker called and said she had some good news.  We were the first family to submit a letter of intent, so the central authority in Colombia - the ICBF - stopped accepting anymore after ours was received!!!  Woohoo!  Praise the Lord for allowing that to work out so perfectly.

Although this all seems fabulous, there are still many more steps, and he is by no means officially a member of our family yet. 

Samuel is currently in a foster home in Colombia, and we truly feel that his foster family is doing great with him, which we will be eternally grateful for!  Our dossier has not been submitted to Colombia yet, but I got word today that it should be submitted within the next couple days.  After it is submitted, it can be approved, rejected, or sent back for further questions.  We pray that it is approved and quickly. We must be approved in the country then in the state where he lives.  After approval, we must be officially "matched" with Samuel through the ICBF.  After a few more steps in the process, will eventually be able to go to Colombia for our allotted 6-7 weeks to bring Samuel home!

Our biggest prayer concern right now is that we are able to travel to Colombia in December so that Brent is able to stay the entire time.  We know this is highly unlikely, but God can make anything possible.  We also know that everything happens in His perfect timing, and His ways are all-knowing.  We are so ready to go to Colombia to bring Samuel home! 

As I close, I have a quick story about Lilly Grace.  During her prayers before bed tonight, she wanted to pray for her brother.  She told us that right now the door in Colombia is closed, but God has the key and He will get us to Colombia.  Out of the mouth of babes, folks, comes beautiful words of wisdom!

Keep praying for Samuel!